Open When Your Brain Won't Stop Spiraling

Do you remember the first person you called when you learned about RSD?

For me, it was my mom.

I'm almost certain the text said:

“IT'S NOT ME. IT'S MY ADHD.”

With a link to a video like I had just uncovered classified information.

Because my entire childhood soundtrack was:

“You're sooo sensitive.”

Drawn out.
Exasperated.
Repeated.

And let me tell you something —

There is nothing more destabilizing than having your feelings hurt…

and then being told those feelings are wrong.

Not misunderstood.

Wrong.

So you start editing yourself.

You swallow reactions.
You apologize before you speak.
You scan every room for signs you've already messed up.

A neutral tone feels like rejection.
A small correction feels like proof.
A delayed reply feels catastrophic.

And everyone says,
“Don't take it so personally.”

As if you're choosing to.

Learning about RSD didn't make me dramatic.

It exposed the pattern.

It gave language to something I had been blamed for my entire life.

If your body reacts fast…
if your chest tightens before your brain catches up…
if you replay conversations for hours wondering what you did wrong—

You're not broken.

You're not weak.

Your nervous system learned to brace.

And that makes sense.

I see you.